Movie Review: "The Bank Job"

Who's in It: Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows and Daniel Mays (who I recognized from Atonement, but spent the whole movie wondering where I knew him from.)

What It's About: The title pretty much says it all.

What I Was Expecting: Given that it's Jason Statham, I was assuming that it was going to be a heist film version of "Transporter".

What I Got: Something very unlike the "Transporter" films. In fact, there's only one fight scene in the whole film and it seems totally out of place when it happens. The movie is actually a surprise. It's well acted. It's never obvious. It's not perfect by a long shot. But very good and never boring. There's a long scene in which the police learn a bank robbery is occurring, but only have a vague idea what part of London in which it's taking place. And how our "heroes" manage to escape is truly inspired and unexpected. A few too many sideplots. I could have done without the undercover agent in Trinidad. I don't know how much of the film really happened, but it would be hilarious if it did happen that way.

Grade: B

Oscar Potential: None. The art direction isn't bad though.

Five Random Thoughts:

1. There are several stories going on at the beginning. Stay with it. They all tie in together.
   

2. Holy crap. Jason Statham can act!
   

3. Lots of actors you recognize but can't quite place. Ignore it and go to imdb later.
   

4. Stay for epilogue. There's an amusing title card at the end. For those who don't plan on seeing the movie, highlight between the arrows. >>>The names of the people in this film have been changed to protect the guilty.<<<<< It's a shame there wasn't more of that humor in the film itself.
   

Trailer Park:

Shutter – I know with every fiber of my being that this film will be crap, but man, did that trailer give me the creeps.

Ruins - I've been hearing rumors that this one is really well done. Have to wait and see. Creepy trailer.

Forbidden Kingdom - This movie is either going to really suck or it's going to get a huge following. This trailer kinda made me think the latter.

Midnight Meat Train - My jaw dropped when they gave the title. Followed by hysterical laughter. Number of Clive Barker movies that were any good: ZERO. That Brooke Shields was the best they could get for a lead, says VOLUMES!

Movie Review: "Be Kind Rewind"

Who's in It: Jack Black, Mos Def and Danny Glover

What It's About: Two video store clerks recreate movies for customers after an accident erases all the tapes.

What I Was Expecting: Not much, to be honest. Sort of seemed like a one-joke film.

What I Got: A movie that knows it really only has one joke, so it tries to keep improving on the joke to some degree of success. The film takes a little too long to start telling the joke and goes on a little too long after the joke is done. But the ending did get to me a little bit. It's similar in tone and pace to last year's "Lars and the Real Girl". Jack Black is reigned in a bit from his usual manic self. He actually seems to be playing a part at first, but starts to stray towards the end. Mos Def gives a more genuine performance. Danny Glover reminds the audience that he can still deliver a good performance, even in a pimple of a part. The recreations of other movies are consistently funny and clever in how to reenact scenes on no-budget. Might have been more interesting to see a Kentucky Fried Movie style film of the two of them redoing more films.

Grade: C+

Oscar Potential: Zero, but art is not really what's being aimed for here.

Five Random Thoughts:

1. The film opens with a LOUSY special effects shot as the camera swoops down into the town. It's very obvious the freeway isn't there and the cars frequently changing lanes aren't real.
   

2. Mos Def should be hired more often. The range in doing Ford Prefect in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and this role here proves he has a lot of talent and, more importantly, pathos.
   

3. Are Mos Def and Jack Black supposed to be slow or are they actually disabled?

4. Why is Mia Farrow here? Are her children Danny Glover's?

5. The subplot involving Sigourney Weaver's character is not only pointless, but completely unrealistic. If what Def and Black are doing is copyright infringement, why do Bunny Theatre and Thumb Wars get away with it?

Trailer Park:

Never Back Down – Thankfully, the title is practically advertising that this is a film devoid of thought and should be avoided.

Run Fatboy Run - I was a little lost as to what this film was supposed to be about. I've read a plot synopsis and am even more confused. But it's got Simon Pegg and I'll go with it.

Get Smart - Lord, they need a new trailer.

Baby Mama - Tina Fey's new comedy comes out April 25, just before the summer movie season launches. A real shame. If they'd bumped it up a month, they could have ruled the box office for all of April and made $150 million. The trailer looks hilarious.

Sex and the City - I'm a fan of the show. I'll see it the first weekend. I just don't see how this will be little more than an elongated episode of the show. We will see.

Movie Review: "The Other Boleyn Girl"

Who's in It: Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson and Eric Bana

What It's About: Anne and Mary Boleyn battle for the love of Henry VIII.

What I Was Expecting: Besides the historical inaccuracy of the previous statement, I really had no expectations. It was written by the same guy who wrote “The Queen” and “The King of Scotland”.

What I Got: Oh, Lord. Where do I start? Natalie Portman's back and forth between English aristocrat and Cockney accents? The mind-numbingly short scenes? The BIG laughs from the audience during scenes that should have been heartbreaking? (Note to wannabe filmmakers: incest in dramas shouldn't draw massive guffaws from the viewer.) The Portman comment pretty much speaks for itself. The brevity of the scenes was something that I noticed right off the bat. It was making me crazy to the point that about 10 minutes into the film, I actually started counting how many lines were in each scene. Here's a typical scene: Character #1 says something, usually a question. Character #2 responds with something significant to the plot. And...scene. For the curious, the longest scene I counted was 13 lines, during the trial of Anne Boleyn, and 12 of the lines were “GUILTY!”(sorry for spoiling the movie for those who slept through history class who didn't know Henry VII had 6 more wives after Anne.) As far as the laughs go, yeah, the incest scene really did not work. Anne's life was on the line and didn't see any other choice. She had just lost Henry's potential heir and needed to get pregnant fast. So why NOT turn to your brother? At that point, I started to wonder, “Is this MEANT to be funny?” I really don't think it was, but much like a lot of other dramatic moments in the film, it was met with much laughter. So if BAD movies make you break out in hysterics, this just might be the film for you.

Grade: D

Oscar Potential: Zero. Might even get some razzie consideration.

Five Random Thoughts:

1. ADCD: Attention Deficit Costume Drama. It's like watching an adaptation of the Table of Contents of the Cliff's Notes of the book.
   

2. I'm not sure if getting Portman or Johansson to go nude would've helped, but it sure as hell wouldn't have hurt.

3. The best line during the film: the woman behind me during Anne's beheading, “You know, I think this might be a true story.” The woman was around 45.

4. The second best line: Me to my wife as Anne is pouring a glass of water before climbing into bed with her brother, “Honey, I think you're gonna need something a lot stronger than that.”

5. Funny how after Eric Bana's bed scene with Johansson, he actually looks bored in the film.

Trailer Park:

Made of Honor – I'm not all that big on the McDreamy chick flicks, but this one looks pretty funny.

Movie Review: "No Country for Old Men"

What It's About: A low income Texan finds a LOT of drug money.

What I Was Expecting: You know, it's the Coen brothers. Expectations have been really high since "Fargo." Given that many of the reviews called it the "best film this year." Yeah, I'd say my expectations were pretty high.

What I Got: And my expectations were exceeded. I still can't decide whether or not I liked this better than "Fargo". How about this? There are moments in this one that are better than anything in "Fargo", but "Fargo" was better. Now, that's a cop out. Not really. This actually would've been the better film if it ended when the plot did, but it goes on for another 20 or so minutes. I mean, it just meanders. When the whole movie has focused on the plight of one character, it's not the best idea to spend so much time on the resolution of issues with peripheral characters, and in one case, resolving nothing, that didn't play a huge part in the overall plot. That said, the first 90 minutes are just lights out brilliant. There are many moments that are so intense, it's amazing. And then it has the Coen brothers quirky sense of humor to make things all better again.

Grade: A-

Oscar Potential: Where do you stop? Best Picture, easy. Best Director, a lock for a nod. Best Actor nod for Josh Brolin, strong possibility. Best Supporting Actor nod for Javier Bardem, for sure. Best Adapted Screenplay, likely winner. Then throw in cinematography and editing to boot. This will be a big player at this year's Oscars.

Random Thoughts While Watching the Film:

1. Is that the dude from "The Goonies?" It sure is. Where did he learn to act?
2. Javier Bardem will go down as one of the classic screen villians.
3. I got a big smile on my face when they introduced Stephen Root's character. Stephen Root is probably best known as Milton from "Office Space." In my opinion, any movie he is in can't be all bad because any scene he is in will be good. This guy can play anything. He was also the fish obsessed with the bubbles in "Finding Nemo." And the boss on "Newsradio." And Bill on "King of the Hill." Just phenomenal actor. He also funded the Stephen Root Acting Studio at the University of Florida. Nobody's perfect.
4. Man, Tommy Lee Jones is getting old.
5. Seriously?! That's the older brother from "The Goonies"?!

The Trailers:
The Orphanage: I don't know much about the film, but the trailer scared the bejesus out of me.
In Bruges: If you thought really hard, could you come up with a worse title for a film? I was making my notes while watching the trailer. I wrote down "look up Colin Farrell" because 5 seconds after the trailer was over, I couldn't remember the name. That said, the film looks mildly amusing.
Pride and Glory: Is Colin Farrell the new Jude Law? Back to back trailers with him in it. At least this one has Ed Norton who does not make enough movies for me. They give WAY too much away as far as plot goes. Still looks good.
The Great Debaters: Denzel Washington and Forrest Whitaker about a debate team from an all-black college taking on Harvard's debate team in the...40s? 30s? Doesn't matter. It may follow the "Rocky" formula to a T, but damn, I'll go see this one. Looks terrific and inspiring.
Charlie Wilson's War: First trailer I've seen of this one. I cannot wait. Could play spoiler for "No Country" come Oscar time.
There Will Be Blood: Oh damn, I hope this one's as good as it looks. Daniel Day-Lewis pretty much playing the same character from "Gangs of New York", but this movie looks good. Can't wait.

Movie Review: "Enchanted"

What It's About: Disney princess from the animated world gets thrown into Manhattan..

What I Was Expecting: My wife had seen the film before I had and kept spouting that it was the best Disney movie ever. I had seen the trailer and had serious doubts that it would be better than "The Lion King" or "Aladdin."

What I Got: Definitely not the best Disney movie ever. It's goofy. It's a lot of fun. It's entertaining as heck, but it runs out of places to go. The ending itself has almost no logic to it. In fact, I would go as far as saying that they chose the wrong ending. I would explain further but it would require spoiling it. The performances are near perfect. I can't imagine a better cast and the mostly on location shooting was inspired in how they used it. Particularly the scenes in Central Park which left me...well...goofy.

Grade: B+

Oscar Potential: Best song, for sure. I would also make the argument that Amy Adams deserves a recognition. So many actors get recognition for portraying real people, but she just nails the Disney princess stereotype. Close your eyes and just listen to her and you would think it was an animated film. Special effects is another possibility.

Random Thoughts While Watching the Film:

1. All these big musical numbers and not one using Idina Menzel who has made a career in musical theatre. Go figure.
2. Wow! This movie would've gotten an A if it weren't for that awful ending.
3. Are Amy Adams' eyes really that big or did they tweak them digitally to get the full Disney princess effect?
4. Is Patrick Dempsey supposed to be a mediator or is he an attorney for the wife? They aren't really clear.
5. For as little time she spends in the movie, Susan Sarandon is really good.

The Trailers:
Golden Compass: I can't help but wonder when this movie bombs, will the religious right try and take credit for it or will they just realize that it was the crappy trailers that drove people away?
Water Horse: I loved the movie Babe. I know it's from the same author, but man, this movie looks stupid.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: In a previous blog, I blasted a trailer for this movie. This was a new trailer. And I laughed out loud. This movie might be subversive enough to work.
Definitely Maybe: This trailer looked so good that I saw the title on my notes and for the life of me, I can't remember a thing about it.
College Road Trip: Oy vay. Is Martin Lawrence the new Robin WIlliams? When you make a career out being crude, don't do the family film please.
NT2: Wow. I need to take better notes. It took me five minutes to remember that NT2 meant National Treasure 2. I hope it's as fun as the first one. And just as implausible.

DVD Review: "Zodiac"

What It's About: The Zodiac killer who terrorized San Francisco from the late 60s to the mid 70s.

What I was Expecting: I like David Fincher a lot as a director. On a blog posted on another site, I predicted that "Zodiac" would be a strong contender at the 2006 Oscars, but due to delays, the film failed to qualify for last year's awards. So, I guess you could say my expectations were a little high.

What I Got: Everything that I was hoping "Zodiac" would be. It's a slow-burning, creepy, highly effective thriller filled with a terrific cast. I missed it on its initial release due to my own personal post-Oscar burnout and I'm sorry I did. I imagine on the big screen that what was merely creepy on the small screen was downright terrifying. What I don't understand is the general reception to the film. Was it the lack of a shoot out ending or true resolution? Was it how it started off as a "Silence of the Lambs"-esque thriller and fades into something more less defined? That was a complement, by the way. The film plays out much like the real-life investigation of the murders. Tight with an attention to detail at first. Slow and unfocused as the details become more obscure. I believe this was entirely intentional. What the audience is made to feel towards the movie ("are they going to find out who did it or not?") is exactly what the characters thought and felt. How else can you do a film about a killer who was never caught?

Grade: A-

Five Random Thoughts:
1. The film is so filled with character actors who don't look like their normal selves, you'll find yourself often distracted and rewinding going, "wait! I know that guy."
2. It took watching the reading of the first Zodiac letter 3 times before I realized it was John Terry from 'Lost.'
3. Charles Fleischer is in this movie. The voice of Roger Rabbit. I boo him because he picked on me for a good 10 minutes at a comedy club one night. Boo!
4. So much for Roger Ebert's economy of characters. The rule is: Any recognizable actor must be important to the plot or else it would be a no name actor. Not true in this film. I kept expecting Ione Skye of "Say Anything" fame to turn back up after her one, albeit important, scene, but she never does.
5. Mark Ruffalo should be added to my list of actors who will win an Oscar soon.

Movie Review: "The Simpsons"

What It's About: Much like your typical episode of "The Simpsons", there's about 10 storylines.

What I Was Expecting: Well, "The Simpsons" has always been daring for regular TV, so I was expecting them to, very slightly, push the envelope here. Basically, I knew they would probably use one obscenity because using one, and just one, would be their style.

What I Got: Well, I got my one obscenity. And it comes when you're not expecting it, from someone you wouldn't expect (not Flanders). Overall, it's right up there with the best episodes of the show. It's funny, subversive and heartwarming. The exact same tight rope the show has been walking since Bart kissed his teacher in season 1 after getting a D on his history exam. Basically, if you enjoy the TV show, you'll enjoy the movie. It won't win any new fans. But then again, after nearly 20 years, I doubt there are any new fans to win.

Grade: B+

Oscar Potential: It has a shot at Animated Feature and really nothing else. Somehow, I doubt "Spider-Pig" will make the cut.

Random Thoughts While Watching the Film:

1. The opening joke is really funny. To me, anyway. I was the only one who laughed at the screening I went to.
2. Gee, Schwarzenegger sounds an awful lot like Wolfcastle. Why bother making the joke about Arnold?
3. How many times has Albert Brooks done the Simpsons? Answer: Not enough.
4. They overpromoted the movie. It was mildly amusing, but audience members recited jokes that were in the commercials.
5. They credit the voice for Patty and Selma, but were they even in the movie?

The Trailers:
Dark Knight: The teaser trailer for the next Batman. Cool trailer, but a TAD disappointed that Heath Ledger was doing the Joker very similar to Jack Nicholson's.
Daddy Day Camp: Not only has Cuba Gooding, Jr.'s career sunk this low, but I had to explain to my nephew over the weekend that hugging Michael Jordan in the Hanes commercial does NOT mean he's gay.
Game Plan: This year's "The Pacifier". Take that as you may.
The Bourne Ultimatum: I think this one will be considered weak by default simply for not one-upping the first two films.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Jason Lee's filmography for 2007 include Underdog AND Alvin and the Chipmunks? This makes me sad.
Horton Hears a Hoo: Because the last two films based on Dr. Seuss books were SO good. I don't think reuniting Jim Carrey and Steve Carrell will save this one.